


Telling half-truths still makes you a liar, Connor McKinley

by lolamit



Series: Tales from the Pearl of Africa [4]
Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: (they don't actually play though so don't get your hopes up), Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Connor has emotional baggage and Kevin a shoulder to lean on, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Truth or Dare, why don't they just kiss already
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-23 01:43:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23437060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolamit/pseuds/lolamit
Summary: “How can youkind ofkiss someone?”Connor rolls his eyes at Kevin’s question, but the Elder doesn’t laugh or smile, he simply watches expectantly, sincerely and Connor’s cheeks go even redder. “Well, I have kissed someone,” he admits, “but it didn’t mean anything, really, so I don’t think it matters that much.”Kevin’s eyes are doubtful and inquisitive as they peer in Connor’s, and for a second Connor imagines what it would be like to kiss Elder Price, wonders if his lips would be as soft and silky as his hair.“Telling half-truths still makes you a liar,” says Kevin, and Connor’s eyes flicker up from where he realized he’d been staring.
Relationships: Elder "Connor" McKinley/Kevin Price
Series: Tales from the Pearl of Africa [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1645078
Comments: 7
Kudos: 43





	Telling half-truths still makes you a liar, Connor McKinley

Some afternoons are meant to be lazy; Connor is a firm believer of this. Especially those afternoons when the temperature is sky-high and none of the Elders can go five minutes without complaining. Such afternoons are better spent inside, all of them cramped together in front of the one working fan that Elder Price had managed to find during a lone adventure to Kampala a few months ago. Connor had been furious when he got back, had worried himself to the very brink of insanity when Kevin had sauntered back into view but had quickly forgiven the rebellious Elder once they’d been able to plug the fan in. It was no air conditioning, sure, but it was the closest thing they would be likely to find and that was more than enough for all of them. 

On this particular day, they were all gathered in the common room after deciding their chores could wait until tomorrow. Connor is sat on the couch next to Elder Church, who in turn is sat next to Elder Neeley and even Elder Michaels has managed to squeeze his way onto the three-seater. The rest of the Elders are spread out on the floor. Elder Cunningham is sat directly in front of the fan, earning not only a few annoyed glances but comments too, these, of course, are only responded by Arnold claiming he’s allowed to hog the fan, being the Prophet and all. The other Elders stop arguing when Elder Price backs him up, or more likely because they know that means their District Leader will soon join the opposing team. Connor had a habit of supporting Elder Price and today is too hot to make any efforts of changing that. 

He doesn’t have to chime in, though, because the conversation soon escalates into reminiscing about their lives before Uganda, before their mission, before any of them had even met. Connor listens as Elder Thomas relives his family trip to Disneyland Paris and expects Kevin to jump at the mention of his favorite franchise, but the Elder doesn’t move from where he’s sitting, leaning against Connor’s legs, his head resting on Connor’s knees and though he barely remembers when it happened, Connor had mindlessly started playing with his now overgrown hair and could not help himself. It shouldn’t make sense that Elder Price’s hair was as soft and fluffy as Connor imagines clouds are, but it was. Running his fingers through Kevin’s locks was like touching moonlight, Connor thinks. 

“I’ve never been to Europe,” says Elder Davis from where he’s lying on the floor, repeatedly tossing a ball in the air and catching it. Connor would have told him to be careful if he wasn’t so mesmerized by Elder Price’s silky curls. 

“I went to London once,” says Elder Neeley. “It rained the entire time.”

Connor has never been outside of the US, apart from now of course. The only vacations his family went on were road trips across the country, he’d seen near every landmark there was in America, yet nothing compared to the beauty he’s found right here in the pearl of Africa. The breathtaking sunsets, the astonishing – if not terrifying – wildlife, the feeling of being completely free to be himself. He had never anticipated feeling more comfortable in a country where homosexuality was considered a crime than he did at home. Life is funny that way, he reckons. 

“Has anyone ever played truth or dare?” asks Elder Thomas suddenly, earning Connor’s attention as he’d completely missed the U-turn the conversation had apparently taken. 

“Gosh, no,” laughs Elder Church. “My parents would freak.”

“Mine too,” agrees Neeley, Davis, and Michaels while Poptarts giggles along with Church. Their voices always did complement each other perfectly, Connor realizes. 

“I have,” says Connor and earns the full attention of everyone in the room. Even Elder Cunningham turns around. “In fifth grade, once.”

Connor can see Elder Price’s eyes flutter open and glance up at him, and it is proving itself harder than you’d imagine not to glance back. 

“No way,” says Thomas as he watches him with wide eyes from the floor. “What was it like?”

Connor shrugs. “Awkward, mostly,” he says, remembering the one unchaperoned birthday party he ever attended. “Nearly everyone was Mormon, it wasn't exactly wild.”

“Were you dared to do anything?” asks Davis, still tossing the ball alarmingly close to his face. 

“My friend Kayla dared me to kiss her,” Connor shrugs again, the memory appearing far too vividly in his mind. Why had he even mentioned it in the first place? 

“Oooh,” Elder Cunningham teases, waggling his eyebrows and eliciting laughs from the others. Connor is not amused. 

“Did you?” 

Connor is surprised it is Elder Price who asks the question since he hasn’t partaken much in the conversation all afternoon, almost to the point of it being uncharacteristic. He meets Kevin’s eyes and realizes his fingers are still intertwined in the Elder’s hair. 

“I did,” he says, retreating his hands in fear it looks just a smidge too intimate, despite Connor’s reputation of being physically affectionate almost to a fault. The Elders were all staring by this point – apart from Elder Davis whose attention was still fixated on not getting hit in the face, Heavenly Father knows why – and frankly, it was starting to vex Connor. “It was barely a kiss though, I don’t think it even lasted a full second.” 

“I can’t believe you kissed a girl,” says Thomas, his wide eyes replaced by a grin. 

“It was a _dare_ ,” Connor sighs. “Besides, like I said it wasn’t even a real kiss, it doesn’t count.”

“What counts then?” asks Elder Price but is interrupted before Connor can register the question. 

“And how do you know what a _real_ kiss is?” laughs Church, eyes teasing. “Sounds like you’ve got more experience than a fifth-grade dare.” 

Thomas gives Church a shove from the floor and Connor thanks him with a smile before turning to defend himself. “So what if I have.” 

“So much for being a good Mormon,” Michaels grins. 

“Hey, I’m not the prodigy here,” Connor deflects, poking the back of Price’s head. 

“By all means,” Kevin scoffs but Connor can see the smile in his eyes, “drag me into this.”

“Just how many people have you kissed, Elder McKinley?” asks Thomas and Connor is sure he’s disguising his curiosity with teasing.

“Christ, I haven’t-“ Connor rolls his eyes in such an exaggerated way that it hurts. “Can we drop this? Let’s just play Monopoly instead.”

Thomas shakes his head and Church speaks for him. “We should play truth or dare.” Thomas nods enthusiastically.

“I’m in,” says Davis, and Connor is almost baffled that _that_ was the thing to catch his attention. 

Most of the other Elders voice their agreements as well, except for Elder Price whose eyelids had slid shut again. Connor only stares for a beat too long. 

“Since you know the ropes-“

Connor shakes his head before Church can finish the sentence. “Heck no, I am not playing.” 

“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Thomas smiles but Connor has already made up his mind. 

“I’m going for a walk,” he says, tapping Elder Price’s shoulder carefully so as not to jam his knees into the back of his head. “Can I?” 

“Oh,” mumbles Kevin as he leans forward, letting Connor leave his place on the couch which is immediately claimed by Poptarts. 

Connor isn’t sure where he’s going or why he left. He could have stayed if only to watch, but something about the game brought up feelings he’d rather ignore, so instead he makes for the one spot he knows to be quiet and peaceful. The air is a lot cooler now, still incredibly hot but considerably more bearable than a mere half hour ago. He walks the same path through the shallow forest as he has so many times before, still, the sounds and sights of rainbow-colored birds and butterflies never ceases to amaze him. 

He reaches the river in no time and a deep sigh escapes him as he sits down by the waterfront. The birthday party is still clear as day in his mind, the way he’d pecked Kayla so hastily, how chapped her lips had been, how uncomfortable he had felt for the rest of the night. Then his mind travels to a place he has worked so hard to forget for so many years, and he allows himself – for the first time in what feels like forever – to remember. Remember how he’d asked his parents if he could have a sleepover with a friend when they picked him up from the party, remember how he’d stayed up way past bedtime talking and giggling with Steve, feeling so rebellious, remember how Steve had kissed him, more than once and for more than a second. Steve’s lips weren’t chapped. If he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine the feeling of soft, fluffy, silky-

“Thought I’d find you here.”

Connor’s head snaps round instantly as his heart beats out of his chest. “Don’t sneak up on me like that,” he breathes, a subconscious hand finding its way to his chest. 

“Didn’t mean to,” Elder Price smiles as he sits down beside him. “Thought you heard me.”

“I wasn’t listening” shrugs Connor. “Besides, I reckoned you’d be staying with the others.”

Kevin laughs as he leans back on his elbows. “I don’t like being told what to do, seemed smart to avoid a game devoted entirely to do just that.”

“And here I thought Elder Price would never back down from a challenge.” The look Kevin shoots him is bored yet amused, and it makes the memory of Steve seem utterly insignificant. 

“A dare is nothing like a challenge, Connor,” says Price with conviction. “Surely, you know that.”

“I don’t.” Connor watches the doubt transform into curiosity in his eyes. “Enlighten me.”

Kevin stares for a moment, the cogs in his brain working loudly and Connor desperately wants to know what he’s thinking. “A dare,” he starts as he sits back up, “is almost always intended to embarrass you, to label you a coward if not accepted. A challenge, simply put, isn’t.”

Connor frowns. “Do you really think their dares would be that bad?”

“God no,” laughs Kevin. “They’re probably just daring each other to eat those dried grasshoppers Nabulungi brought over last week, but I’m not a fan of them either so.”

Connor winces at the mention, he had tried one when Nabulungi came over but couldn’t get over the way it had crunched when he bit into it, which had given Nabulungi great amusement and honestly, he couldn’t blame her. 

Kevin is watching the waves when Connor looks over, his head tilted slightly as if in thought, Connor can tell by blank, out of focus look in his eyes. He decides not to disturb and turns his head toward the river as well. He likes this spot, and it strikes him that it might have something to do with Elder Price’s presence nearly always being there, but it doesn’t make it any less significant. Perhaps that’s why neither of them has seemingly told anyone else about the place. Perhaps it was their spot. 

Connor likes the sound of that. 

“You never answered my question before,” says Price after a while and Connor gives him a puzzled look. “What counts?” 

Connor considers him for a moment before he recalls the passing question interrupted by Church and suddenly, Connor is blushing. “Oh, uh,” he mumbles. “I guess, anything over a second?”

Kevin nods. “Have you kissed anyone then?”

“Kind of.” 

“How can you _kind of_ kiss someone?”

Connor rolls his eyes at Kevin’s question, but the Elder doesn’t laugh or smile, he simply watches expectantly, sincerely and Connor’s cheeks go even redder. “Well, I have kissed someone,” he admits, “but it didn’t mean anything, really, so I don’t think it matters that much.”

Kevin’s eyes are doubtful and inquisitive as they peer in Connor’s, and for a second Connor imagines what it would be like to kiss Elder Price, wonders if his lips would be as soft and silky as his hair. 

“Telling half-truths still makes you a liar,” says Kevin, and Connor’s eyes flick up from where he realized he’d been staring. 

“What,” he deadpans to which Kevin laughs softly. Why was everything about him so soft?

“I don’t believe it didn’t mean something,” he shrugs. “Or you wouldn’t have gotten all worked up before.”

“Oh.” Connor blushes again. “I’m not a liar though.”

“You don’t have to convince me,” says Elder Price and gives a small smile as he fidgets with the drawstrings of his shorts, attracting Connor’s attention despite himself. “But I don’t think you actually believe it meant nothing either.”

Connor looks away, turns his attention anywhere that isn’t directly on Kevin Price because for some reason, the oblivious, puppy-eyed Elder is the sensible one out of the two of them. “Perhaps,” he mumbles to the sky. 

They sit in silence for a while, Connor rigid and increasingly more uncomfortable as he doesn’t know how to act anymore. He isn’t entirely sure why he feels so uneasy, whether it has anything to do with the fact that he has never really told _anyone_ about Steve and suddenly he’s admitted to kissing someone in front of the Mormon wonderchild of all people. Not that Elder Price would ever judge him, that he’s sure of, but he’s worried he might open up wide enough to let the bad memories seep through with the good ones. The memory of kissing Steve is good, great even if Connor were to decide, but following that very memory was the one of his mother finding them in his bedroom, of her bursting into tears and telling Connor’s father to call Steve’s parents to pick him up, of the two of them sharing the happiest moment of their lives only to be told it was wrong and disgusting, that something that felt so natural was the worst sin known to man. 

That’s why he never thinks of the good memories, they never come without a cost. Its price: nights and nights of Hell Dreams. 

“Were you in love with him?” The question nearly knocks the air out of Connor, and he freezes in his spot. He doesn’t want to remember, he wants to forget, forget, forget. 

Instead, he shakes his head, slowly and barely at all, but Kevin notices and soon a hand lands on his shoulder, the touch making him flinch. 

“It’s okay, Connor,” he says quietly. “We don’t have to talk about it. I’m sorry for pushing.”

“Steve.” The name slips Connor’s lips before he can stop it and he turns to Kevin with desperation plaguing his eyes. 

Kevin considers him before asking, “Is that his name or did you momentarily forget mine?”

A laugh bubbles out of Connor’s mouth, and he brings his hand up to cover it as if he’d been caught swearing in Church. Kevin smiles, his hand still resting on Connor’s shoulder and it isn’t entirely subconscious, but definitely involuntary, the way he leans into the touch. 

“I’ve never told anyone,” he whispers. 

“I won’t either,” Kevin promises, lightly squeezing Connor’s shoulder to emphasize the meaning. Connor offers a grateful smile that he is sure looks less convincing than it feels, and it doesn’t feel very convincing at all. Too soon, Kevin carefully removes his hand and gives a quiet chuckle. “See, that’s the perk of not spilling your secrets in some dumb game. It can stay, right here.”

“Promise?” Connor asks and Elder Price simply extends his pinky. Connor wraps his own little finger around it and the touch is electric as ever. They hold on, longer than is probably considered normal for friends but it doesn’t matter because Connor can see universes in Kevin’s eyes and Heaven knows it’s the most beautiful thing he can imagine. 

Some afternoons are meant to be lazy, and some are meant for this, sitting cross-legged with Elder Price in their spot by the river with their fingers interlocked, saying nothing or everything and feeling like nothing exists outside this moment, nothing but the two of them alone together, together alone, Connor is absolutely and undoubtedly certain.

**Author's Note:**

> you have no idea how hard it is to write these oneshots and have them not kiss every goddamn time, but they're all part of a bigger story still it is just so!! infuriating ahh
> 
> anyway, hope you liked it and please leave a comment or kudos if so, it's nice and I'll love you for it
> 
> also, I realized I spelled Neeley's name wrong in When they cat's away, Kevin brings lizards into the mission hut but I just can't be bothered to fix it, so enjoy the correct spelling until I eventually forget again, it's bound to happen innit


End file.
